Happy New Year Guys!
I have a few things on my mind that I need to vent about..I sometimes wonder what my husband really thinks about my new hair. So far he has been SUPER supportive. He’s helped me research transitioning, drove me to far out places to get random products that I saw someone on youtube use and he has comforted me when I’m on the bathroom floor distraught about my lack of knowledge about my hair. Since he’s known me I have ALWAYS had long straight hair and he liked it. He even liked to play in it. He hasn’t really commented on my hair, no, “it looks nice honey” or anything. I am not mad or complaining (although these last few weeks I could have really used the hair pick me ups) but tonight has me a little concerned and thinking more about how he REALLY feels about my newly natural 4C hair. Here’s what happened…
Now before I began, I must let you know that there are a good amount of natural sistas with beautiful hair. some long, some short, some deep and wavy some are tightly coiled.
So this evening while at church, my hubby and I sat directly behind a woman who is natural and her hair texture looks to be about a 3c/4a. It was a decent length and it was cute. He whispers to me and says, “So, your hair is going to look like that right?” the word “eventually” might have been said too..I cant recall because my mind started to wander and I started feeling SUPER insecure about my own hair. The hair that I sat in the mirror for 15 minutes cursing, for being short, and noncooperative. I want to tell me hubby the truth, but to do that I have to face the reality myself. My Hair will probably NEVER look like that. Its somewhat of a harsh truth to me it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth indeed. The way my hair will feel and look once it has grown to bra strap length is unknown to me. Everyone I see with 4c hair is always short in a TWA. I have no idea what long 4C hair looks like.
Meanwhile, I am ashamed of my hair. Should I get braids until it grows out? A sew in? Maybe tommorow I will go and buy a few more beanies to rock..I am certain of one thing for sure. I wont be rocking my hair out for a long time..
Am I the only one that’s felt like this? If you are reading, I’d love to hear from you.