Really Reality..

Happy New Year Guys!

I have a few things on my mind that I need to vent about..I sometimes wonder what my husband really thinks about my new hair. So far he has been SUPER supportive. He’s helped me research transitioning, drove me to far out places to get random products that I saw someone on youtube use and he has comforted me when I’m on the bathroom floor distraught about my lack of knowledge about my hair. Since he’s known me I have ALWAYS had long straight hair and he liked it. He even liked to play in it. He hasn’t really commented on my hair, no, “it looks nice honey” or anything. I am not mad or complaining (although these last few weeks I could have really used the hair pick me ups) but tonight has me a little concerned and thinking more about how he REALLY feels about my newly natural 4C hair. Here’s what happened…

Now before I began, I must let you know that there are a good amount of natural sistas with beautiful hair. some long, some short, some deep and wavy some are tightly coiled.

So this evening while at church, my hubby and I sat directly behind a woman who is natural and her hair texture looks to be about a 3c/4a. It was a decent length and it was cute. He whispers to me and says, “So, your hair is going to look like that right?” the word “eventually” might have been said too..I cant recall because my mind started to wander and I started feeling SUPER insecure about my own hair. The hair that I sat in the mirror for 15 minutes cursing, for being short, and noncooperative. I want to tell me hubby the truth, but to do that I have to face the reality myself. My Hair will probably NEVER look like that. Its somewhat of a harsh truth to me it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth indeed. The way my hair will feel and look once it has grown to bra strap length is unknown to me. Everyone I see with 4c hair is always short in a TWA. I have no idea what long 4C hair looks like.

Meanwhile, I am ashamed of my hair. Should I get braids until it grows out? A sew in? Maybe tommorow I will go and buy a few more beanies to rock..I am certain of one thing for sure. I wont be rocking my hair out for a long time..

Am I the only one that’s felt like this? If you are reading, I’d love to hear from you.





5 thoughts on “Really Reality..

  1. I felt the same way… For a split second. My bf was used to me getting my hair done every week. I was rocking a short spiky do. I was nervous about his reaction for a split second. Then, I thought… If he loves me, then he will accept all of me. Once you fully embrace your natural hair, then I promise you he will too. Experiment with diff products and hair styles.until you find what works for you. I have screamed, threatened to go bald, and just pouted until I started experimenting. YouTube saved me. My bf admitted that at first he didnt like it because I didnt know what to do with it. Once I got over the fear of messing my hair up, I got style happy and he absolutely loves my hair now. Just hang in there and be upfront about what you are feeling.

  2. Natural hair is truly a journey!! Don’t be to hard on yourself or your hair:) If you can get it on a set routine it becomes a breeze to style and you will notice growth. The one thing that I realized is that you cannot expect a style to come out as you have it planned in your head, play with it and make it your own. Also utilize accessories, especially if it’s short! Hope this helps.

    T. Renaye

  3. Give it time, my friend, it really is a mind-thing. We’ve thought of beauty as being a certain way for so long that it takes a while to embrace the beauty of not only being natural, but being unique and different. I absolutley love my natural hair but sometimes I still find it to be very challenging – that means I have to be patient as I continue to learn about my hair. If you have time check out my post “Was God not paying attention when he made me?” make sure you read the poem that’s a part of that and don’t miss seeing your own beauty as you read it.

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